The Glow of Remembrance: Lessons fromAll Saints' Day
Tomorrow we welcome the month of November, and in Poland, the first of the month brings one of the most significant and moving days of the year: All Saints’ Day.
Unlike the candy filled and costume-clad energy of Halloween, this celebration is rather different. It is a time that is both serious and somber, but also intensely celebratory and reflective. It is less about sadness and more about the profound reality of memory and legacy.
For many years after I emigrated from Poland to the UK in 2000, I missed this day deeply. It felt like a powerful cultural anchor that I had simply floated away from. But since my dad passed away in 2020, All Saints’ Day has anchored me once again. It is now a non-negotiable pilgrimage to his grave, a tangible way to support my mum in carrying her grief, and my personal yearly appointment with deep reflection.
The Softening of Edges
The day invites me into a quiet conversation with my memories. I reflect on what a great dad he was, and in the stillness, I can also look at his shortcomings with softer, more forgiving edges.
I wonder if he would be proud of me - I am certain he would, but I miss hearing him say those specific words to me.
This reflection extends to my mama too. It is a day that I fully appreciate her strength, her resilience, and her selflessness in looking after him for all those years. The values that guide my coaching and life - stewardship, courage, and unconditional presence - are a direct result of watching her in action.
The Generosity of the Living
Beyond those we have lost, this day inevitably pulls my focus toward the amazing, generous people who fill my life right now. I am often simply blown away by how many incredible humans I have been fortunate enough to meet along the way.
Some cheer me fiercely from the sidelines, reminding me of my own light. Others hold me daily, offering the kind of unconditional encouragement I need to keep doing the work I do. Still othersreappear at perfect intervals, and we just pick up exactly where we left off. What they all share is the generosity to offer their support without needing anything in return. They make me feel both deeply loved and deeply accountable.
An Invitation to Define Your Legacy
This brings me to the core question that I offer to you on the eve of All Saints Day, as you navigate your own reflections: What would your legacy be?
I know 'legacy' is a huge, intimidating word. So let’s make it smaller. What do you want to be remembered for, long after you are gone, when others pause on their own day of reflection?
My hope is this: if I can leave each person I interact with one memory of a moment that truly felt supportive - a warm embrace, holding non-judgemental space, a helpful piece of advice, an introduction that unlocked something for them, or just a genuine smile in a moment of their sadness or despair - then I would leave this earth happy.
To each and every one of you, no matter how short or long our time together has been: Thank you. You have helped me grow and be exactly where I need to be.
As for you dad, sleep soundly Tatku xxx
With love,
Dag
